Two and a Half Men (2003) - Watch Movies and TV shows for free

Two and a Half Men (2003)

Overview: A hedonistic jingle writer's free-wheeling life comes to an abrupt halt when his brother and 10-year-old nephew move into his beach-front house.

Vote Average: 7.46

Genres: Comedy

Companies: Warner Bros. Television , Chuck Lorre Productions , The Tannenbaum Company

Cast: Ashton Kutcher, Jon Cryer, Conchata Ferrell

Crew: Jim Patterson , Tim Kelleher , Joe Bella , Chuck Lorre

Network: CBS

TV Show Poster

Status: Ended

Seasons:

Season 1 - Click For Episodes ( Episodes: 24 )
- Episode Number: 1 - Pilot - Air Date: 2003-09-22
- Episode Number: 2 - Big Flappy Bastards - Air Date: 2003-09-29
- Episode Number: 3 - Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell - Air Date: 2003-10-05
- Episode Number: 6 - Did You Check With the Captain of the Flying Monkeys? - Air Date: 2003-10-26
- Episode Number: 7 - If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake - Air Date: 2003-11-02
- Episode Number: 9 - Phase One, Complete - Air Date: 2003-11-15
- Episode Number: 12 - Camel Filters and Pheromones - Air Date: 2004-01-04
- Episode Number: 13 - Sarah Like Puny Alan - Air Date: 2004-01-10
- Episode Number: 14 - I Can't Afford Hyenas - Air Date: 2004-02-01
- Episode Number: 15 - Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick - Air Date: 2004-02-08
- Episode Number: 16 - That Was Saliva, Alan - Air Date: 2004-02-15
- Episode Number: 17 - Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats - Air Date: 2004-02-22
- Episode Number: 19 - I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You - Air Date: 2004-03-21
- Episode Number: 20 - Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark - Air Date: 2004-04-18
- Episode Number: 22 - My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet - Air Date: 2004-05-09
- Episode Number: 23 - Just Like Buffalo - Air Date: 2004-05-16
Season 2 - Click For Episodes ( Episodes: 24 )
- Episode Number: 1 - Back Off, Mary Poppins - Air Date: 2004-09-19
- Episode Number: 3 - A Bag Full of Jawea - Air Date: 2004-10-02
- Episode Number: 5 - Bad News from the Clinic? - Air Date: 2004-10-17
- Episode Number: 7 - A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana - Air Date: 2004-11-07
- Episode Number: 9 - Yes, Monsignor - Air Date: 2004-11-21
- Episode Number: 10 - The Salmon Under My Sweater - Air Date: 2004-11-28
- Episode Number: 12 - A Lungful of Alan - Air Date: 2005-01-02
- Episode Number: 15 - Smell the Umbrella Stand - Air Date: 2005-02-06
- Episode Number: 16 - Can You Eat Human Flesh With Wooden Teeth? - Air Date: 2005-02-13
- Episode Number: 19 - A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise - Air Date: 2005-03-20
- Episode Number: 22 - That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother - Air Date: 2005-05-08
- Episode Number: 23 - Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab - Air Date: 2005-05-15
- Episode Number: 24 - Does This Smell Funny to You? - Air Date: 2005-05-22
Season 3 - Click For Episodes ( Episodes: 24 )
- Episode Number: 1 - Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts - Air Date: 2005-09-19
- Episode Number: 2 - Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover - Air Date: 2005-09-26
- Episode Number: 3 - Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark - Air Date: 2005-10-03
- Episode Number: 4 - Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs - Air Date: 2005-10-10
- Episode Number: 5 - We Called It Mr. Pinky - Air Date: 2005-10-17
- Episode Number: 6 - Hi, Mr. Horned One - Air Date: 2005-10-24
- Episode Number: 7 - Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop - Air Date: 2005-11-07
- Episode Number: 9 - Madame and Her Special Friend - Air Date: 2005-11-21
- Episode Number: 10 - Something Salted and Twisted - Air Date: 2005-11-28
- Episode Number: 14 - Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded - Air Date: 2006-02-06
- Episode Number: 16 - Ergo, the Booty Call - Air Date: 2006-03-06
- Episode Number: 18 - The Spit-Covered Cobbler - Air Date: 2006-03-20
- Episode Number: 20 - Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro - Air Date: 2006-04-24
- Episode Number: 21 - And the Plot Moistens - Air Date: 2006-05-01
- Episode Number: 22 - Just Once With Aunt Sophie - Air Date: 2006-05-08
- Episode Number: 23 - Arguments for the Quickie - Air Date: 2006-05-15
- Episode Number: 24 - That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite - Air Date: 2006-05-22
Season 4 - Click For Episodes ( Episodes: 24 )
- Episode Number: 2 - Who's Vod Kanockers? - Air Date: 2006-09-25
- Episode Number: 3 - The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress - Air Date: 2006-10-02
- Episode Number: 5 - A Live Woman of Proven Fertility - Air Date: 2006-10-16
- Episode Number: 7 - Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head - Air Date: 2006-11-06
- Episode Number: 8 - Release the Dogs - Air Date: 2006-11-13
- Episode Number: 11 - Walnuts and Demerol - Air Date: 2006-12-11
- Episode Number: 12 - Castrating Sheep in Montana - Air Date: 2007-01-08
- Episode Number: 14 - That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami - Air Date: 2007-02-05
- Episode Number: 15 - My Damn Stalker - Air Date: 2007-02-12
- Episode Number: 17 - I Merely Slept With a Commie - Air Date: 2007-02-26
- Episode Number: 19 - Smooth as a Ken Doll - Air Date: 2007-04-09
- Episode Number: 21 - Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous - Air Date: 2007-04-23
- Episode Number: 22 - Mr. McGlue's Feedbag - Air Date: 2007-04-30
- Episode Number: 23 - Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-Lookin' - Air Date: 2007-05-07
- Episode Number: 24 - Prostitutes and Gelato - Air Date: 2007-05-14
Season 5 - Click For Episodes ( Episodes: 19 )
- Episode Number: 1 - Large Birds, Spiders and Mom - Air Date: 2007-09-24
- Episode Number: 2 - Media Room Slash Dungeon - Air Date: 2007-10-01
- Episode Number: 3 - Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo - Air Date: 2007-10-08
- Episode Number: 4 - City of Great Racks - Air Date: 2007-10-15
- Episode Number: 6 - Help Daddy Find His Toenail - Air Date: 2007-10-29
- Episode Number: 8 - Is There a Mrs. Waffles? - Air Date: 2007-11-12
- Episode Number: 9 - Shoes, Hats, Pickle Jar Lids - Air Date: 2007-11-19
- Episode Number: 10 - Kinda Like Necrophilia - Air Date: 2007-11-26
- Episode Number: 11 - Meander to Your Dander - Air Date: 2008-03-17
- Episode Number: 12 - A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh - Air Date: 2008-03-24
- Episode Number: 13 - The Soil Is Moist - Air Date: 2008-03-31
- Episode Number: 14 - Winky-Dink Time - Air Date: 2008-04-14
- Episode Number: 15 - Rough Night in Hump Junction - Air Date: 2008-04-21
- Episode Number: 16 - Look At Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty - Air Date: 2008-04-28
- Episode Number: 17 - Fish in a Drawer - Air Date: 2008-05-05
- Episode Number: 18 - If My Hole Could Talk - Air Date: 2008-05-12
- Episode Number: 19 - Waiting for the Right Snapper - Air Date: 2008-05-19
Season 6 - Click For Episodes ( Episodes: 24 )
- Episode Number: 1 - Taterhead Is Our Love Child - Air Date: 2008-09-22
- Episode Number: 2 - Pie Hole, Herb - Air Date: 2008-09-29
- Episode Number: 3 - Damn You, Eggs Benedict - Air Date: 2008-10-06
- Episode Number: 4 - The Flavin' and the Mavin' - Air Date: 2008-10-13
- Episode Number: 5 - A Jock Strap in Hell - Air Date: 2008-10-20
- Episode Number: 6 - It's Always Nazi Week - Air Date: 2008-11-03
- Episode Number: 7 - Best H.O. Money Can Buy - Air Date: 2008-11-10
- Episode Number: 8 - Pinocchio's Mouth - Air Date: 2008-11-17
- Episode Number: 10 - He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited - Air Date: 2008-12-08
- Episode Number: 11 - The Devil's Lube - Air Date: 2008-12-15
- Episode Number: 12 - Thank God for Scoliosis - Air Date: 2009-01-12
- Episode Number: 14 - David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie - Air Date: 2009-02-02
- Episode Number: 16 - She'll Still Be Dead At Halftime - Air Date: 2009-03-02
- Episode Number: 17 - The 'Ocu' or the 'Pado'? - Air Date: 2009-03-09
- Episode Number: 18 - My Son's Enormous Head - Air Date: 2009-03-16
- Episode Number: 19 - The Two Finger Rule - Air Date: 2009-03-30
- Episode Number: 20 - Hello, I Am Alan Cousteau - Air Date: 2009-04-13
- Episode Number: 21 - Above Exalted Cyclops - Air Date: 2009-04-27
- Episode Number: 23 - Good Morning, Mrs. Butterworth - Air Date: 2009-05-11
- Episode Number: 24 - Baseball Was Better with Steroids - Air Date: 2009-05-18
Season 7 - Click For Episodes ( Episodes: 22 )
- Episode Number: 2 - Whipped Unto the Third Generation - Air Date: 2009-09-28
- Episode Number: 3 - Mmm, Fish. Yum. - Air Date: 2009-10-05
- Episode Number: 4 - Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator - Air Date: 2009-10-12
- Episode Number: 5 - For the Sake of the Child - Air Date: 2009-10-19
- Episode Number: 7 - Untainted by Filth - Air Date: 2009-11-09
- Episode Number: 8 - Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle. - Air Date: 2009-11-16
- Episode Number: 9 - Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair - Air Date: 2009-11-23
- Episode Number: 10 - That's Why They Call It Ball Room - Air Date: 2009-12-07
- Episode Number: 11 - Warning, It's Dirty - Air Date: 2009-12-14
- Episode Number: 12 - Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste - Air Date: 2010-01-11
- Episode Number: 13 - Yay, No Polyps! - Air Date: 2010-01-18
- Episode Number: 15 - Aye, Aye, Captain Douche (2) - Air Date: 2010-02-08
- Episode Number: 17 - I Found Your Moustache - Air Date: 2010-03-08
- Episode Number: 19 - Keith Moon Is Vomiting in His Grave - Air Date: 2010-04-12
- Episode Number: 20 - I Called Him Magoo - Air Date: 2010-05-10
- Episode Number: 22 - This Is Not Gonna End Well - Air Date: 2010-05-24
Season 8 - Click For Episodes ( Episodes: 16 )
- Episode Number: 1 - Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud - Air Date: 2010-09-20
- Episode Number: 3 - A Pudding-Filled Cactus - Air Date: 2010-10-04
- Episode Number: 5 - The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel - Air Date: 2010-10-18
- Episode Number: 6 - Twanging Your Magic Clanger - Air Date: 2010-10-25
- Episode Number: 8 - Springtime on a Stick - Air Date: 2010-11-08
- Episode Number: 9 - A Good Time in Central Africa - Air Date: 2010-11-15
- Episode Number: 10 - Ow, Ow, Don't Stop - Air Date: 2010-11-22
- Episode Number: 11 - Dead from the Waist Down - Air Date: 2010-12-06
- Episode Number: 12 - Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead - Air Date: 2010-12-13
- Episode Number: 13 - Skunk, Dog Crap and Ketchup - Air Date: 2011-01-03
- Episode Number: 14 - Lookin' for Japanese Subs - Air Date: 2011-01-17
- Episode Number: 15 - Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak - Air Date: 2011-02-07
- Episode Number: 16 - That Darn Priest - Air Date: 2011-02-14
Season 9 - Click For Episodes ( Episodes: 24 )
- Episode Number: 1 - Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt - Air Date: 2011-09-19
- Episode Number: 2 - People Who Love Peepholes - Air Date: 2011-09-26
- Episode Number: 3 - Big Girls Don't Throw Food - Air Date: 2011-10-03
- Episode Number: 4 - Nine Magic Fingers - Air Date: 2011-10-10
- Episode Number: 5 - A Giant Cat Holding a Churro - Air Date: 2011-10-17
- Episode Number: 6 - The Squat and the Hover - Air Date: 2011-10-24
- Episode Number: 7 - Those Fancy Japanese Toilets - Air Date: 2011-10-31
- Episode Number: 8 - Thank You for the Intercourse - Air Date: 2011-11-07
- Episode Number: 9 - Frodo's Headshots - Air Date: 2011-11-14
- Episode Number: 15 - The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack - Air Date: 2012-02-06
- Episode Number: 16 - Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy - Air Date: 2012-02-13
- Episode Number: 17 - Not in My Mouth! - Air Date: 2012-02-20
- Episode Number: 18 - The War Against Gingivitis - Air Date: 2012-02-27
- Episode Number: 19 - Palmdale, Ech - Air Date: 2012-03-19
- Episode Number: 20 - Grandma's Pie - Air Date: 2012-04-09
- Episode Number: 21 - Mr. Hose Says 'Yes' - Air Date: 2012-04-16
- Episode Number: 22 - Why We Gave Up Women - Air Date: 2012-04-30
- Episode Number: 23 - The Straw in My Donut Hole - Air Date: 2012-05-07
- Episode Number: 24 - Oh Look! Al-Qaeda! - Air Date: 2012-05-14
Season 10 - Click For Episodes ( Episodes: 23 )
- Episode Number: 1 - I Changed My Mind About the Milk - Air Date: 2012-09-27
- Episode Number: 2 - A Big Bag of Dog - Air Date: 2012-10-04
- Episode Number: 4 - You Do Know What the Lollipop Is For - Air Date: 2012-10-18
- Episode Number: 5 - That's Not What They Call It in Amsterdam - Air Date: 2012-10-25
- Episode Number: 13 - Grab a Feather and Get in Line - Air Date: 2013-01-10
- Episode Number: 14 - Run, Steven Staven! Run! - Air Date: 2013-01-31
- Episode Number: 16 - Advantage: Fat, Flying Baby - Air Date: 2013-02-14
- Episode Number: 18 - The 9:04 from Pemberton - Air Date: 2013-03-07
- Episode Number: 19 - Big Episode. Someone Stole a Spoon - Air Date: 2013-03-14
- Episode Number: 20 - Bazinga! That's From a TV Show - Air Date: 2013-04-04
- Episode Number: 21 - Another Night With Neil Diamond - Air Date: 2013-04-25
- Episode Number: 22 - My Bodacious Vidalia - Air Date: 2013-05-02
- Episode Number: 23 - Cows, Prepare to Be Tipped - Air Date: 2013-05-09
Season 11 - Click For Episodes ( Episodes: 22 )
- Episode Number: 3 - This Unblessed Biscuit - Air Date: 2013-10-10
- Episode Number: 4 - Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank - Air Date: 2013-10-17
- Episode Number: 5 - Alan Harper, Pleasing Women Since 2003 - Air Date: 2013-10-24
- Episode Number: 6 - Justice in Star-Spangled Hot Pants - Air Date: 2013-11-07
- Episode Number: 8 - Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room. - Air Date: 2013-11-21
- Episode Number: 10 - On Vodka, on Soda, on Blender, on Mixer! - Air Date: 2013-12-12
- Episode Number: 11 - Tazed in the Lady Nuts - Air Date: 2014-01-02
- Episode Number: 12 - Baseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball. - Air Date: 2014-01-09
- Episode Number: 14 - Three Fingers of Creme de Menthe - Air Date: 2014-02-06
- Episode Number: 17 - Welcome Home, Jake - Air Date: 2014-03-13
- Episode Number: 18 - West Side Story - Air Date: 2014-04-03
- Episode Number: 19 - Lan Mao Shi Zai Wuding Shang - Air Date: 2014-04-10
- Episode Number: 20 - Lotta Delis in Little Armenia - Air Date: 2014-04-24
- Episode Number: 21 - Dial 1-900-Mix-A-Lot - Air Date: 2014-05-01
- Episode Number: 22 - Oh, WALD-E, Good Times Ahead - Air Date: 2014-05-08
Season 12 - Click For Episodes ( Episodes: 16 )
- Episode Number: 2 - A Chic Bar in Ibiza - Air Date: 2014-11-05
- Episode Number: 4 - Thirty-Eight, Sixty-Two, Thirty-Eight - Air Date: 2014-11-19
- Episode Number: 5 - Oontz. Oontz. Oontz. - Air Date: 2014-11-26
- Episode Number: 7 - Sex with an Animated Ed Asner - Air Date: 2014-12-09
- Episode Number: 9 - Bouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy, Lyndsey - Air Date: 2015-01-08
- Episode Number: 10 - Here I Come, Pants! - Air Date: 2015-01-15
- Episode Number: 11 - For Whom the Booty Calls - Air Date: 2015-01-22
- Episode Number: 12 - A Beer-Battered Rip-Off - Air Date: 2015-01-29
- Episode Number: 13 - Boompa Loved His Hookers - Air Date: 2015-02-05
- Episode Number: 14 - Don't Give a Monkey a Gun - Air Date: 2015-02-12
- Episode Number: 15 - Of Course He's Dead (1) - Air Date: 2015-02-19
- Episode Number: 16 - Of Course He's Dead (2) - Air Date: 2015-02-19

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